


Find Comfort In Pain

by n_dix0n



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, kinda stiles angst if you squint, sorry no sterek porn oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-09 10:07:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_dix0n/pseuds/n_dix0n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles arrives home to not only an unexpected visitor but an unexpected response, as well. Takes place after 2x04.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Find Comfort In Pain

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for a request sent anonymously on my tumblr. Before you read, please note: I have never had a panic attack myself nor did I take the time to read up on them before writing this, so I apologize if my depiction is inaccurate in any way. I hope none of you take offense and feel free to make any comments/criticisms on things I can change. Derek and Stiles may also seem a little OOC; it was hard for me to write their characters comforting each other and still make it seem realistic.

Derek sat perched on Stiles’ windowsill, waiting for the boy to get home. He never really had the chance to talk to Stiles and thank him for saving him, having been trying to locate the kanima and hopefully kill it. Stiles had recently become more prominent in Derek’s life and even though the teen talked a lot – way too much – Derek had taken a liking to him, whether it was under his own control or not. His wolf had this fascination with him and would not back down, not matter how much Derek tried to convince it otherwise.

Stiles snapped Derek out of his thoughts when he walked in his room and turned on the light, expecting no one but seeing Derek perched on his windowsill, staring at him with glowing red eyes.

"Oh my god, Derek!" The boy all but screeched and flailed his arms around. 

Stiles clutched his chest and took a few deep breaths. Derek stepped into Stiles’ room from the window ledge, one eyebrow raised and a slight smirk appearing on his face. Stiles stood there and stared at Derek, waiting for him to say something. When Derek just stared back at him, Stiles huffed out a sigh.

"Not that I don’t appreciate your company or this extraordinarily quality conversation we have going here," Stiles chuckled dryly, "But, I think I’ve seen enough of you for one night, Derek."

Derek licked his lips and continued to stare at Stiles. Stiles began to mutter to himself as he turned around and went into the hallway. He opened the closet door and pulled out a towel. He walked back to his room and Derek was now sitting on his bed, smelling his pillow.

"Really, Derek, just make yourself at home. It’s not like my dad is sleeping right down the hallway, currently has you on his most wanted list, and keeps a loaded shotgun in his dresser drawer."

Derek looked up at Stiles and smirked.

"You mean the same father that's not home and is actually working a double shift tonight?"

Stiles gulped and bit his lower lip. Derek's smirk vanished instantly and he sniffed the air.

"You're afraid."

Right. Werewolf senses.

Derek frowned and got off the bed and in front of Stiles in one fluid motion. He stood in front of a shivering Stiles and cocked his head to the right.

"Why are you afraid?"

Stiles snorted. 

"I'm not afraid, Derek. I'm exhausted from holding up your dead weight for two-plus hours in the pool, although I might add, your lack of personality made you seem pretty light compared to the big, strong, tough-guy act you put on."

Derek stayed deathly still the entire time and Stiles only knew he was still alive because he could see the faint rise and fall of Derek's chest. Stiles was talking with his hands and glanced down to notice his hand was shaking. He took another deep breath in. 

"And not only am I exhausted from keeping not only my weight, but yours as well, afloat for two-plus hours, I'm soaking wet and pretty damn cold considering I'm still in the same clothes. So, I don’t know what you’re doing here or what you want from me but it better be pretty important."

Stiles exhaled an angry sigh. Derek nodded and motioned towards the towel in Stiles' hand, silently telling him to take a shower. 

Derek knew the whole time that Stiles had been lying. Derek also knew that Stiles knew said statement, so he must have forgotten Derek was basically a human – werewolf – lie detector. But either way, Derek didn't point it out because the kid had saved his life and honestly, Derek wasn't too sure himself why he still frightened the teen. He knew that yes, he was a little intimidating, but it was for a good cause. He couldn’t be as trustworthy to people anymore, they had to earn it.

Stiles stared at him for a second, clearly judging Derek's reaction, before rolling his eyes and turning around. 

He made his way out of the room and into the shower. Stiles didn’t realize the entirety of the trauma that he actually endured tonight. As he was washing his hair, he began having flashbacks to all the events of the night. 

When the Kanima had taken Erica down and was moving on to Stiles, Derek had tried to protect him. 

_Run!_

When Stiles realized the Kanima had slashed the back of Derek's neck. 

_Derek, your neck._

When Derek touched the back of his neck and his body went limp. When Stiles slung Derek’s arm over his shoulder as he tried to get them away from the kanima. 

_Okay, Come on!_

When he turned the corner while trying to get his phone and call Scott and Derek lost his balance, falling into the water. 

_Stiles!_

When he had to make the split second decision and choose between Derek and his phone. Even though Derek was a sourwolf like, all the time, Stiles was glad he had chosen Derek instead of his phone. 

When they were treading water and Stiles realized that he needed to get his phone and call Scott so he could save them but Derek didn't want Stiles to let go.

_No, no, no! Don't even think about it!_

_Would you just trust me this once?_

Stiles was relieved in believing his flashbacks were over until he started to wash all of the chlorine off of his body and made a swipe with his wash cloth from his shoulder down to the palm of his hand. His hand was shaking. And it wasn't the kind of shaking from being cold. He blinked as he flipped his hand over, palm up, and had another flashback. 

This one was when he had touched the paralyzing residue the kanima left behind on the door handle at the auto shop. 

He remembered trying to warn the mechanic once he saw the kanima slinking out of his Jeep, but he was physically unable to. He remembered watching his Jeep literally crush the mechanic to death and not be able to do a single thing about it because he was paralyzed himself. He couldn't even look away. 

Stiles squeezed his eyes shut and washed the soap off of his body. He shook his head, trying to literally shake the thoughts loose from his mind, but it was no use. 

He kept having brief flashbacks of the mechanic getting crushed.

And the tiny "help me" he had uttered before he was about to be crushed to death. 

And the screech of the kanima as it rounded the corner and made eye contact with Stiles. 

As if experiencing it all wasn’t bad enough, Stiles didn’t have many people to talk to. He had to lie to his father to be able to keep him safe. His father didn’t know about werewolves and their entirety and Stiles couldn’t bear the thought of exposing his father to such danger. His dad was the only one he had left and he was already at a huge risk being a cop. He briefly talked to Scott after Scott had picked him up, but he had to get to the lacrosse game because, being a now extremely athletic werewolf, Scott actually got to play. 

Stiles couldn’t breathe. He tried to but his body would only allow shallow breaths in and out. Stiles’ eyes darted around, trying to figure out what was happening to him. His legs went limp and his vision started to blur. He felt himself falling but he felt unable to do anything at all, even though this time he knew it wasn’t any doings of the kanima. He braced himself for the impact of the floor but was surprised to find that he never got there. He felt a pair of warm arms around his waist, pulling him up and away from the ground. Stiles felt like he was watching from somewhere else, that he wasn’t in his own body. It was the strangest sensation. He could faintly feel himself falling, but not hitting the ground, and everything seemed to be playing out in slow motion. The arms that pulled him up grabbed his face. The hands were a little rough, calloused, but gentle all the same. They squeezed his face tenderly and forced him to look up. 

"Derek?"

Stiles’ voice cracked and his jaw dropped in horror. Derek nodded once and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around Stiles’ wet body and drying him off. Stiles managed to keep his balance for the few moments Derek took to dry Stiles off. Stiles also managed to put his ever-growing crush on Derek on the back burner, for now, while there were slightly more alarming matters at hand. When Derek was done he wrapped the towel tightly around Stiles’ waist and stood up, facing Stiles. He looked up at Derek, his eyes filled with tears as one slipped free and trailed down his face. Derek frowned and his thumb reached out and wiped the tear from Stiles’ face.

"Derek," Stiles whispered softly as he took in a shaky breath. "What’s happening to me?"

Derek pulled Stiles towards him, wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and hugged Stiles tightly. Derek rested his chin on Stiles shoulder and Stiles let out a whimper as he wrapped his arms around Derek and nuzzled his face in Derek's neck.

"I’ve got you, Stiles."

Derek picked Stiles up bridal style; any other time Stiles would have argued against it but he was too exhausted, mentally and physically, to even attempt to stop Derek. Besides, Derek kinda owed him for keeping his paralyzed, werewolf ass afloat for over two hours.

Derek carried Stiles to his room and sat him on the bed. Stiles watched, in a trance, as Derek opened up his dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.

Derek brought the clothes back towards Stiles and sat down next to him on the bed. He put his arm around Stiles and began rubbing soothing circles into Stiles' shoulder.

Stiles let out a deep sigh and leaned into Derek's touch. He was starting to come around, feeling more human by the second. Whenever Derek touched him, Stiles seemed to come to a little more, so Derek continued for a few minutes, then pulled away and held his hand out, offering the clothes to Stiles. 

"Think you can handle it?"

Stiles paused for a moment and chewed at his lower lip. He nodded, a light blush blossoming along his cheeks, and took the clothes from Derek’s hand. He put his t-shirt on to cover himself while he hastily pulled on his boxers because – duh – attractive werewolf that Stiles may or may not be harboring a _bit_ of a crush on is **right there** while Stiles is naked, and most definitely not the good kind of naked.

Meanwhile, Derek had pulled the covers down on Stiles bed and now stood, hovering next to Stiles who was currently dressed. Stiles maneuvered his way around Derek to lie down on his bed. Derek noticed he was shivering still so he pulled the covers up and tucked Stiles in. It was all so strange coming from Derek, but Stiles assumed that Derek was actually a softywolf a while back and Derek just tried to hide it all the time with his tough guy exterior. Derek waited until Stiles settled to opened his mouth to speak.

"You were – "

"Hey, Derek?"

Derek sighed. 

"Yes, Stiles?"

Stiles patted the unoccupied spot on his bed and looked up at Derek with a sad smile.

"Please?"

Derek's expression went blank but he walked to the other side of the bed and sat down as far away from Stiles as possible. He swung his legs over the side of the bed so he was now laying down. Stiles frowned and grabbed Derek's arm, pulling him closer. Derek moved over reluctantly and Stiles grinned, snuggling into Derek's side. Derek was radiating heat and Stiles hummed contentedly. 

He was feeling a lot more like himself now. It definitely helped to be around someone else who knew everything that you were going through. Of course, Scott would always be his best friend, but recently he had been wrapped up in Allison, werewolves, Peter, Allison, werewolves, and more Allison. So really, he didn’t have much time to spare with Stiles. Stiles obviously understood, but it was still hard not having his best friend around all the time. Derek had become his partner in crime more recently, and quite frankly, still scared Stiles a little. However, as he just witnessed, Derek wasn’t as tough and cruel as he depicted himself to be. Stiles had grown to like him more and more since their run-in at the police station and most recently, the kanima attack at the pool. And being with Derek so often he may or may not have been giving his newest werewolf friend a few look overs after noticing how attractive he really was.

Stiles also may or may not have said all of the previous, including the part about checking out Derek, out loud.

Derek smirked and raised his eyebrows at Stiles.

Yeah, definitely said that out loud.

Derek seemed to ignore Stiles rant, though, probably because he was used to them by now. He just continued with his previous thought that Stiles had interrupted. Twice. 

"You had a panic attack. I used to get them all the time after –"

"My mom died." Stiles finished the sentence. 

Three interruptions! Stiles was on a roll tonight.

Stiles looked up but Derek's face was totally blank. Derek nodded once and Stiles looked back down, fiddling with his hands underneath the covers. He held his breath and bit his lip as he reached for Derek's hand on top of the sheets. His heart was hammering in his chest and he knew Derek could hear it, but he didn't care. Besides, Derek already knew that Stiles had the hots for him and he definitely would have left already if it bothered him that much; Stiles didn’t see Derek as the type to stick around just for Stiles’ benefit. 

Stiles threaded their fingers together and smiled up at Derek. 

Stiles knew exactly what Derek was talking about. He used to get panic attacks all the time after his mother died. He did have a lot more time to process it, though. His mother had been suffering from cancer and even though she went through chemotherapy and many other treatments, they had caught it too late and told Stiles and his father she wouldn't make it. Stiles had months of preparing himself, visiting his mother every day, cherishing the last moments. Not only did Derek lose his mother, but his whole family – except for his older sister, Laura – without any kind of warning.

It was a gesture of understanding, comfort – maybe a little more in Stiles’ mind – and Stiles hoped Derek would understand.

Derek stared at their tangled hands for a moment, then at Stiles. He squeezed Stiles' hand and smiled, genuinely smiled, and it made Stiles' heart melt.

"What happened?" Derek whispered as he rubbed his thumb back and forth along the back of Stiles’ hand.

Stiles looked down and blinked.

“The mechanic.” Stiles whispered, eyes transfixed on a single panel on the wood floor.

Derek was silent as he waited for Stiles to continue.

“Do you know what it’s like, Derek, to watch someone die? Do you know what it’s like to _sit there_ and not only have to watch it all happen without your consent, but have to watch and not be able to do a single thing to stop it? Do you know what it’s like to know that it could have easily been you?”

Stiles was working himself up the more he kept talking, but once he started, he couldn’t stop.

“I know,” Stiles sucked in a shaky breath, “How that feels, Derek. I – I know.”

Stiles swallowed. 

“I had to sit there. I tried to help, I tried to call his name, get his attention, anything! Nothing worked. You know why? Because I was paralyzed too. It could have been me, instead of him! I – ”

Stiles was sitting up now and he let out a choked sob as he wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face in them. Derek sat up and pulled Stiles’ face from his knees to gaze into his eyes. Stiles’ lower lip trembled and he threw himself into Derek’s arms. Derek let him and then wrapped his arms around Stiles.

“I’m here, Stiles. I’m here.”

Stiles continued to cry and mumble into Derek’ shoulder while Derek soothingly rubbed his back. Derek pulled away and held Stiles’ face with both hands cupping his cheeks. Derek wiped the tears from his face.

“I know how strong you are, Stiles. Even when you’re scared you put on a brave face and do what’s right. I know that you have the biggest heart and are always looking out for other people, sometimes even before yourself. But sometimes there are things that you can’t control, like the mechanic accident, but you can’t blame yourself. None of it was your fault. And there’s only so much lying to everyone and pretending you’re okay that anyone can take, even someone as strong as you. I’m here if you need me, Stiles. Okay?”

Stiles knew Derek was being sincere, and it was a little strange, hearing all of that from _Derek Hale_ but Stiles just supposed that people upset, people that Derek cared about, were his weakness.

Stiles nodded.

“Thanks, Derek.” He whispered softly.

Derek smiled again – god, that smile – and nodded as he gently pushed Stiles back down towards his pillows. Derek was on the other side of the bed in an instant, tucking the covers around Stiles. Stiles smiled at him, a silent thanks, and Derek made his way towards the window. It was halfway open when Stiles opened his mouth to stop him.

“Derek?”

“Hm?”

“Will you – uh, will you – Stay? With me? Please? I mean, like, it’s fine if you don’t want to. I just – I’d really like to not be alone tonight.”

Derek stood still for a moment, face unreadable, and Stiles’ heart was pounding. Derek looked Stiles in the eyes and nodded. Stiles smiled so wide Derek was seriously worried his face might split in half. Derek laughed and shook his head good-naturedly in response. 

He climbed into the bed and laid next to Stiles. Stiles let out a small sigh and Derek rolled his eyes. Derek pushed Stiles’ body up and slid in behind him. Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles’ stomach and pulled him backwards so he was snuggling against Derek. Stiles sighed contentedly and Derek rested his chin on Stiles’shoulder, breathing in his scent.

Derek may or may not have kissed Stiles’ temple when he thought Stiles was asleep.

Stiles may or may not have actually been awake.

**Author's Note:**

> And I may or may not be writing another chapter to this. But for now, I'll call it a one-shot and leave it at that. Thanks for reading, and I really appreciate all the comments/kudos/bookmarks/etc!


End file.
